More Than Food

by Jacquie Jambor

Families eating together is about more than just food. Here are 10 reasons why it is worth your effort to make sure your family eats together regularly.

• From birth, humans learn to associate nourishment with emotional closeness. Whether an infant is nursing or being fed a bottle, it is the child’s first experience of relationship.

• Mealtime is about communication. It provides an opportunity to hear how everyone’s day went. As children get older, they can develop some skills for discussing not only their own events of the day, but also current events and other events outside the family. This is where children can learn the skill of conversation. It is important that each child learn that he/she is important as an individual and has respected opinions. It’s also essential for a child to learn to listen and consider the ideas and opinions of others. This is where children learn that members in a family can disagree, but still remain connected in the bond of love. One caution: Avoid bringing up emotionally charged topics. This is not the place to discuss deserved or impending punishments.

• It is in the family meal setting that children learn acceptable mealtime behavior. Although we don’t put much emphasis on manners in our culture today, it is still important for children to learn basic courtesies. They will be grateful for this training when they dine at the homes of friends. However, it is more important to have a relaxed enjoyable meal than to fight the manners battle.

• Eating together is a great source of family security, provided family members are not bickering or sniping at one another. Blake Bowden, a researcher at Children’s Hospital Medical Center of Cincinnati says this is even true for teen-agers. In 1997, he conducted a study to see what protects teen-agers against maladjustive behaviors. The answer: sitting down to a meal with a parent at least five times a week. This was such a surprise that it made headlines all over the country.

• Bowden has another theory connected to his findings. “It may not be only the mealtime that’s working in a teen’s favor. If parents are organized enough to make a routine out of dinner, despite how busy we all are, maybe this is symbolic of the way this family functions.

• To carry Bowden’s theory further, when parents go to the bother of preparing a meal (or even planning for a take-out meal), it tells children that their family is one of the most important things in their parents’ lives. This attitude is contagious. This is the way their family becomes important in the children’s lives as well.

• Eating together makes family members kinder to one another. It puts everyone in a better mood.

• Mealtime is an ideal time for a family to pray together. Keep it simple, keep it short. It doesn’t have to be lengthy or complicated. If you have young children use a prayer that they know. Try rotating responsibility for who will lead the mealtime prayer. Praying out of gratitude for the sustenance of daily life is an essential spiritual moment for all ages. Blessing the cook and also those who provided the food reminds children that the abundance of our meals does not just magically appear.

• When your mealtime is a value for your family, you are setting the path for your children to do the same when they are older. Good family interaction is carried from generation to generation.

• By sharing a meal together all family members will get to know one another in a whole new way. There is something very unifying about eating and talking with one another. Share some family stories and enjoy the meal.

Time and again in the gospels, Jesus teaches us about the importance of sharing meals together. The Last Supper always comes immediately to mind, but we read also about Jesus eating at the home of Zacchaeus. In the post resurrection period, Jesus was recognized only in the breaking of the bread. Perhaps as we eat together in our families we’ll more easily recognize Jesus in one another.

About the author: Jacquie Jambor had an extensive background in catechetical ministry as a teacher, catechist, adult educator and Director of Religious Education. After more than twenty-five years in parish ministry, she joined the team at RCL-Enterprises. For eight years, Jacquie served as Catechetical Advisor and National Consultant. Jacquie was a religion series author and published articles in the areas of religious education, family systems, and sacraments. As a national speaker and catechetical leader, Jacquie presented workshops, retreats, and key-note presentations for diocesan conferences and leadership programs across the country.